For Taylor LaRocque, life has taken a series of unimaginable turns.
In an Instagram reel, she revealed the shocking loss of her mother that she suffered eight years after her sister’s death—on the very same day. Since then, she has taken to the internet to share her reflections about grief and family, finding her voice more and more along the way. LaRocque, 31, told Newsweek about the double tragedy she never saw coming and what she wishes she had known in her earliest days of grief.
“My sister passes away at 23 on our family vacation, thinking this is the lowest s*** could get,” she captioned the video. “My mom passes away on the same day as my sister eight years later.”
@travellingthroughgrief/Instagram
LaRocque’s sister, Jessy, was the oldest of three siblings, with LaRocque being the youngest and her brother Wesley the middle child. For LaRocque, the five-year age gap made Jessy more than just a sibling.
“She was my all-star, my Beyoncé, my everything,” LaRocque said. As a role model, Jessy even got LaRocque and her brother their first phones, first jobs and first credit cards. With their parents working long hours, Jessy’s role became more than just a sister from a young age.
“My sister was a sensitive soul and the kindest human being in the world,” LaRocque said. They had dreams of living together and traveling, and she strongly believes her travel-loving sister is “by the ocean somewhere, enjoying a drink.”
LaRocque’s mother, Rose-A-Lee, was a similar icon of inspiration and love.
Independent early on, she left home at 18 to build a remarkable career. LaRocque described her as “the bread winner, a boss queen and an inspiration to my siblings and I.” Her parents had been together since high school, moving to Ottawa as young parents and buying their first home when LaRocque was born.
“My mom created a home, family holidays, backyard celebrations and an open-door policy to my siblings and I and our family and friends,” LaRocque said. “[She] was my best friend, an inspiration, the most-caring human.”
A Horrible Tragedy Repeated
LaRocque’s first family tragedy struck on November 25, 2012.
She and her family were on vacation in Cuba when Jessy passed away at the age of 23 from “sudden death of cardiovascular origin.”
“We found her unconscious in her hotel bed in the early morning,” LaRocque said. The experience was harrowing. “There was no defibrillator; unsuccessful CPR attempts by my father and I; and a jarring transport ride on a golf cart to a medical station on the resort that left my family and I scarred for life.
“Taking a flight home beside an empty seat where my sister should have sat will leave my family and I heartbroken for the rest of our lives,” LaRocque added.
Then, eight years later, on the exact same date in 2020, history tragically repeated itself. She found her mother unconscious in their family living room after shoveling snow. Just moments before, they were on the phone as LaRocque was on her way to spend the difficult anniversary of her sister’s death together.
“My mom died of a heart attack and a broken heart,” she said. “Another failed CPR attempt and a frantic phone call to 911 still did not bring my mother or my sister back.”
Navigating Loss
Navigating such immense and compounded grief has been an arduous journey for LaRocque.
“Honestly, I really do not know how I have gotten through these last 13 years,” she said. After Jessy’s death when LaRocque was 18 and in her first year of university, she said time was “ultimately a blur.” She began therapy while managing the grief of the rest of her family, while studying and working full time. Her work in youth and child services, however, provided a crucial sense of purpose, helping her process the loss.
But her mother’s passing in 2020 amid the COVID-19 pandemic brought new challenges.
“Our family and friends were unable to come together to celebrate her until … 2021, [for] my mother’s 58th birthday,” LaRocque said. This second loss was a “major wake-up call.”
During a period of job and moving transitions, she decided to start sharing her story online and create community around her grief—an “eye-opening and amazing experience,” she said, which helped her feel less alone.
Her Advice for Healing
Reflecting on her journey, LaRocque offered valuable advice to her younger self and others facing similar pain. A phrase her mom often used, “this too shall pass,” deeply resonates.
“I would make sure to tell younger Tay that your friends and family are going to lift you up in the darkest of times and ‘you got you, Tay’ … Working through your grief is understanding that grieving is not linear …,” LaRocque said. “I wake up every day and make the decision to work through the day, and sometimes that looks like laying on the couch all day.”
LaRocque said she hopes her shared story brings solace to others facing similar tragedies.
“No one knows when death will hit you, your family or friends,” she added. “But leaning in, listening to your body and prioritizing yourself will be the greatest gift you can give yourself in your hardest times.”