A viral TikTok has sparked discussion after a bride-to-be asked for honest opinions about weddings.
In a post with more than 900,000 views, creator Lana Wilman shared a simple prompt: “Currently planning a wedding and must know everyone’s least favorite things about attending a wedding or most judgmental take. This is market research.”
It wasn’t long before people started sharing, and they didn’t hold back, from complaints about speeches and food to thank-you cards and gifts.
Wedding Guests’ Least Favorite Things
‘Don’t Ever Put the Speeches Before the Food’
This one hit a nerve with many viewers. One user said exactly what ‘hangry’ guests have been thinking for years. “Don’t ever put the speeches before the food,” they wrote.
Thank-Yous Are Important
User Halo shared a pet peeve that some may not think about—the thank-you after the wedding.
“I HATE when couples don’t send thank you cards. I know it’s petty, but if I take an evening off, buy a dress, travel to your wedding, and spend a hundred bucks on a gift, a card would be nice,” the user wrote.
@lanawilman/TikTok
Costly Bridesmaid Expectations? Think Again
TikTok user chaionice shared frustration about the expense of being a bridesmaid.
“If you want to prescribe / expect things from your bridesmaids (new dress, hair, makeup, Bach trip) you should be fronting the cost OR not expecting gifts,” she wrote.
The ‘Gift’ That Crosses a Line
User Liv had a clear boundary when it came to gifting: “I won’t contribute to your honeymoon. I’m a single girl already going to your wedding. I’m not paying for your vacation.”
Attending Alone
Viewer Harvey made a plea for solo attendees who find themselves trying to make small talk with strangers. “If I don’t know anyone then please make sure I have a plus one,” he said.
Food > Favors (and Sometimes the Bar)
“Not enough alcohol is bad, not enough food is worse. Once people get hungry, it’s game over—they’ll either be cold and miserable, or absolutely off their faces,” Em said in one popular comment.
Fellow viewer Sam wrote: “Honestly skip the wedding favors, most of them end up being tossed. Unless it’s something edible or useful!”
They weren’t the only things that guests said they would rather not see at a wedding.
Kira said that one particular tradition makes her uncomfortable—the garter toss. “It makes me so uncomfortable,” she wrote.
One commenter wanted more information before the big day: “Say what color the bridesmaids are so guests know to avoid the color,” they said.
Expert Reacts
Lara Mahler, wedding planner and founder of New York wedding planning company, The Privilege Is Mine, told Newsweek that the commenters didn’t hold back, but the responses weren’t all unreasonable.
“I do think those are fair criticisms coming from guests and members of the wedding party. Weddings can be triggering—they’re expensive, emotionally charged, and layered with expectations,” Mahler said.
When it comes to keeping guests happy, Mahler had some advice: “We forget that a wedding is essentially hosting a large-scale event. If you were throwing a dinner party at home, you’d make sure there was enough food, seating, and drinks. You’d clean the bathroom. You wouldn’t expect guests to bring anything—unless it was a potluck—but they might still bring a little gift to say thank you. That same spirit should apply to weddings,” she said.
“Emotions and big price tags can cloud things, but if you’re asking people to travel to another state (or country) for your celebration, consider how you can make their time easier and more comfortable,” Mahler added.
“Covering things like hair, makeup, or specific attire? That makes sense if it’s something you’re requesting. Getting married on a Friday and asking people to leave work early? Feed them well. Send a thank-you note.”