Believe it or not, babies have moods just like adults do. They can shift quickly and are mostly influenced by sleep, hunger, overstimulation (like too much light or noise) and a need for connection.
“Babies also experience emotional shifts when they’re learning new skills like rolling, crawling or walking,” Jordyn Koveleski Gorman, child development expert and founder of Eat Play Say, told Newsweek.
“Their brains and bodies are working overtime, which can make them fussier or more clingy,” she continued. “Even small physical factors like being too warm, too cold or needing a diaper change can change their mood.”
Most parents will have a checklist when their baby is fussy, including: is their diaper wet? Are they teething? Do they need an extra blanket? But once those have been crossed off, it’s normal to feel stressed and overwhelmed if a baby doesn’t settle.
Luckily, there are many techniques to quickly soothe a baby’s mood. “When we engage in rhythmic movements and containment, this mimics the environment of the womb, and often has a calming effect on a baby,” Marilyn Cross Coleman, a perinatal mental health treatment specialist, told Newsweek. “Swaddling and cuddling a baby while rocking or bouncing often has a calming effect on their brains.”
Skin-to-skin contact is another effective technique. “Holding a baby against bare skin releases oxytocin—the bonding hormone—in a baby and the caregiver,” Coleman said. “This can be very calming for a baby while additionally strengthening the bond between parent and baby.”
Granted, not everything will be as simple as holding and rocking your baby. It can be difficult for parents to tell the difference between normal fussiness and signs that a baby may need more emotional support or medical attention.
Gorman said there are some red flags parents can look out for to help them spot the difference.
“If your baby cries but calms with feeding, rocking, or a nap, that’s usually normal regulation,” she explained. “But if the crying is intense, lasts for hours, or happens even after all needs are met, it may signal something more like reflux, discomfort or illness.”
Coleman also pointed to a pattern called “the crying curve,” a developmental stage observed in babies where crying increases from birth, peaks at around 6 to 8 weeks and then gradually declines.
During the peak, mothers tend to reach out to mental health services, she said.
“Often, [parents] feel a sense of failure when they cannot soothe their babies,” Coleman explained. “It’s very important for them to understand this trend and know that they are doing nothing wrong. While frustrating, it’s simply normal development.”
If the crying persists, parents should watch for unusual feeding, lethargy, fever, or changes in diaper habits as signs of serious distress.
Coleman stressed that parents should honor their intuition and follow their instincts in these cases. “If something feels off, it never hurts to reach out to a medical provider for guidance,” she added.
If a parent is feeling anxious, overstimulated, or tense, babies may pick up on those emotions and respond by becoming fussier or more unsettled.
Gorman said the best thing parents can do is regulating themselves first. “Take slow, deep breaths before responding, play soft music, or step outside for a quick reset if you need it,” she suggested.
If you have a partner or someone in your support system, try and take short breaks where possible.
“Even in tough moments, when you model deep breaths or soothing tones, you’re showing your baby what it looks like to self-regulate and that’s one of the greatest gifts you can give them,” Gorman said.