A mom from Ontario, Canada, captured a moment with her toddler, not knowing it would be one of the last memories together.
Tamara Spearing, 31, posted a reel on Instagram holding and kissing her daughter. Days later, Gwendolyn was gone.
Spearing told Newsweek that she was pregnant with Gwendolyn at 26. She had just bought her first home and was working two jobs.
@tamaraspearing_
Spearing’s days were full—friends, family, healthy living and big dreams. “I had full trust in the universe and what life was going to look like for me,” she said. “That was until my life drastically changed within a matter of days.”
Gwendolyn was what Spearing called her “pleasant surprise.” While her pregnancy was unplanned, she said she quickly embraced it.
“I remember daydreaming what my child would look like; who they would grow up to be,” Spearing said. “For me, my pregnancy was just the beginning of something amazing, and I was so, so excited to be a mama.”
At 28 weeks and five days, Spearing went into premature labor—a terrifying experience that unfolded while she was visiting Gwendolyn’s father, who had recently been admitted to the ICU after a serious accident.
“I didn’t want to believe it as I was hardly into my third trimester,” she added.
Spearing walked herself to the labor and delivery floor, where she was met by a team of specialists.
“I faintly remember looking over to the bedside nurse, asking her what I should expect and begging and pleading for a safe arrival of my baby,” Spearing said. “I told the nurse, ‘That wasn’t my birth plan. I don’t even have a nursery at home.’
“She looked at me and said, ‘Hunny, there is no such thing as a birth plan’,” Spearing said.
Within two hours and just three pushes, Gwendolyn was born at 2 pounds, 10 ounces.
What followed were months of medical hurdles. Gwendolyn was diagnosed with Esophageal Atresia with Tracheoesophageal Fistula (EA/TEF)—a rare congenital condition where the esophagus doesn’t connect to the stomach.
Gwendolyn’s prematurity brought additional complications: brain bleeds, underdeveloped lungs, multiple surgeries, code blues (where a patient requires resuscitation or is in need of immediate medical attention) and long hospital stays.
Overall, Gwendolyn spent 170 days in hospital before being cleared to go home. Against the odds, she was thriving and hitting every milestone, according to her mom.
“Appointments were further and farther between; she was attending playgroups and making friends; she was learning and discovering as a child should be at her age,” Spearing said. “For the first time in her life, she was able to be just a kid.”
Then, on April 5, their world came crashing down. “For us, it was a normal day,” Spearing added. “Little did I know this day would change my life forever.”
That evening, Gwendolyn’s heart stopped. The autopsy provided no definitive cause. Some specialists suspect a catastrophic seizure or undetected heart failure.
Spearing explored genetic counseling in the aftermath but was overwhelmed by the lack of answers.
“I may never know why my daughter passed, and although I know now sometimes things just aren’t meant to have an explanation, I still lay awake at nights contemplating the days leading up to her death and wondering if there was something I missed and if there was something apparent; maybe I could have saved her,” Spearing said.
Now, three years later, grief remains a constant companion. Spearing said that she barely remembers anything after Gwendolyn passed.
“I was very angry. I lost trust in the universe and I questioned my beliefs,” she added. “I wanted nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare that I was living in. I couldn’t understand why a beautiful, innocent soul, who fought so hard to be here, only to be taken so abruptly.”
Out of her grief, Spearing created The Gwen Effect, a foundation honoring her daughter’s legacy. It supports premature infants and children with complex medical conditions, funds research, and offers community support for grieving families.
“I found a way of turning my pain into a purpose,” Spearing said. “I continue to speak on grief and life after loss as I truly believe it is something that needs to be talked about more.”
The foundation’s mission is clear: raise awareness, provide resources and create spaces where both grief and hope can coexist. Through it, Gwendolyn continues to touch lives.
“Gwen was a ray of sunshine,” Spearing said. “She was born tiny but mighty. Her passion for life while in and out of hospital showed us and many others how precious our time is. She was strong and brave.”