A millennial woman has clapped back at the people who question her decision not to have children, as she says a meaningful life doesn’t have to come from motherhood.
For much of her youth, Natalie, 38, of New York, wasn’t sure what happiness looked like for her. She told Newsweek that she “was on the fence about having kids,” but by the time she turned 30, she knew she didn’t want them.
Natalie, who is a paralegal and part-time caregiver for her dad, loves her life. She’s in a long-term relationship, has the freedom to spend her money how she sees fit, can travel, and doesn’t have the stress of parenting.
“I used to believe that getting married and having kids were essential milestones for a meaningful life,” Natalie said. “However, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize that this isn’t the case. My life holds meaning on my own terms, and I’ve learned that fulfillment doesn’t depend on meeting society’s traditional expectations.”
@nattythebratty / TikTok
Many of her friends and family have kids, so Natalie is more than happy to take on “the fun auntie” role instead.
While she couldn’t be happier, that doesn’t stop people from questioning her choices.
“I hear the question, ‘Who’s going to take care of you when you’re older?’ a lot. I don’t agree with that,” she said. “You shouldn’t have kids just to ensure someone will take care of you later in life, that’s a huge burden to place on them. It’s important to make decisions based on what’s best for your life, not out of fear of the future.”
If that wasn’t bad enough, that isn’t even the worst comment that Natalie’s been faced with. She said that the hardest one to take was being told that her “life has no meaning” if she doesn’t have children because apparently “women were made to have children.”
“It’s frustrating because it assumes that fulfillment can only come from parenthood, when in reality, meaning and happiness look different for everyone,” she said. “My life is full, fulfilling and meaningful in ways that are right for me.”
Fertility rates are declining in many countries, including the U.S, which reached a historic low in 2023. A growing share of adults under 50 say they’re unlikely to ever have children—47 percent in 2023. This was up from 37 percent in 2018, according to the Pew Research Center.
In fact, 57 percent of adults under 50 said they haven’t had children because they just don’t want them. Women under 50 were also more likely than men to cite this specific reason.
Fortunately, most of Natalie’s friends are supportive of her decision to be child-free, and her mom is, too. They just want her to be happy and they don’t make unsolicited comments, but strangers on the internet certainly do.
Natalie often shares her life on social media (@nattythebratty on TikTok @getdressedwithnat on Instagram). A video detailing some of the many comments she gets about being child-free has gone viral with more than 230,200 views and more than 34,500 likes at the time of writing.
She has learned not to be burdened by other people’s expectations, but the endless judgment can still be infuriating. She believes that a lot of it stems from “societal conditioning” and potentially even underlying jealousy in some cases.
“The ability to live life entirely on my own terms can challenge the traditional narrative, which might make some people uncomfortable,” Natalie said.
“It’s your life, so don’t let societal pressure push you into something you may regret. Having kids is a lifelong commitment, and it’s a choice that should be made with intention—not just to conform to the idea that motherhood is the only path to a meaningful life. I believe it’s more selfish to have kids for the wrong reasons than choosing not to have them.”
After the video went viral, there was some backlash, but Natalie also connected with plenty of like-minded people. She’s received support from those who respect her decision. As for those who don’t, Natalie urges them to focus on their own lives rather than judge hers.
The video has amassed more than 2,600 comments on TikTok at the time of writing.
One person wrote: “I found my people!!! I’m 39 without kids.”
Another TikTok user added: “Yeah we need to normalize not everyone being meant to be parents. And it’s amazing.”
While another comment reads: “Not sure why people think it’s a flex to say they don’t want kids…just don’t have kids then.”
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