A millennial mom has offered up a theory on why parents today are “exhausted” and it seems to be resonating with a lot of her peers.
Mother-of-four Cassey Ahlas, from Maryland, went viral on TikTok with a clip explaining that parents today are more tired than previous generations because they would have “sent us to our grandparents every weekend.”
“I can distinctly remember getting off the bus almost every single Friday, packing a bag and going to granny’s,” she said on the clip posted under the handle casseysjourney.
“In the summer you better believe we spent whole weeks, if not months at our grandparents’.”
In 2023, a Pew Research Center survey found 41 percent of parents said they found being a parent tiring, while 29 percent said it was stressful all or most of the time.
TikTok/CasseyAhlas
Ahlas doesn’t feel like parents today get the same kind of support and that she has to ask her parents “three months in advance for a three-hour dinner date night.”
“My kids do not have the same experience I did,” Ahlas told Newsweek. “I don’t think anything can be done either, because unfortunately people have to work full time to an older age now because of the economy and don’t really have time to be grandparents like our grandparents were.”
Ahlas’ video has been watched over 930,000 times, with many fellow parents taking to the comments section to echo her complaints. One commented: “My mom barely sees my kids and she lives 3 miles down the road….” Another said: “My mother hasn’t seen my children since January. She lives 2 miles away. Before that… Christmas, before that, Thanksgiving, before that… September.”
A third, meanwhile, wrote: “My mom lives 10 minutes away and makes an effort to come over maybe 3 times a year. When I was postpartum, she didn’t even offer to help. So lonely and exhausting.”
Some did speak up about the supportive grandparents in their lives. One said: “My parents are 68 and they watch our son every Saturday overnight and for week-long vacations while we go to Aruba, Greece, etc.”
Vanessa Scaringi, a licensed psychologist at CALM Counseling, told Newsweek this is a “common gripe” among millennial parents, but it’s important to acknowledge the context.
“First off, the baby boomer generation is working longer, leaving them less time to actually physically be with their grandchildren,” she said. “Many boomers have to work in order to sustain themselves in the face of the high cost of living, while many are choosing to extend their working years.”
She said it is often the case that “millennial parents establish roots far away from their own parents, making physical proximity an issue.” Outside of this, Scaringi suggested many grandparents “might not realize what it takes to parent in 2025.”
“It is more expensive and intensive than in generations prior,” she said. Scaringi feels millennial parents should try to “share their needs with their own parents in an effort to establish clear expectations and work towards getting needs met.”
Until things change, however, all Ahlas can do is just “imagine the thrill of sleeping in past 6:30 a.m. on a Saturday.”
While things don’t look like changing for her anytime soon, she would like her video to inspire others to take action. “I hope that maybe it shows the older generation that they need to somehow be more involved with their grandchildren because family and a village is important,” she said.