Following years of infertility, a woman captured the heartwarming moment she surprised her mom with her newest granddaughter who was secretly born by surrogate.
For a long time, Amanda Warsavsky, 35, dreamed of having a family and being a mom of three. Making that into a reality has been far from easy, however, as she has had to endure multiple miscarriages, failed embryo transfers and a year of endometriosis treatment.
Warsavsky, of New York City, and her husband, Jason, have experienced so much loss in the last 10 years. Through it all, they were able to welcome their daughters, Scarlett, 7, and Violet, 4, whom they are incredibly grateful for. But Warsavsky told Newsweek that she “wasn’t ready to give up on that hope” and she wanted to keep trying for baby number three.
“Infertility had just become such a part of my life that I was sort of numb to disappointment,” Warsavsky said. “I finally said to my doctor that I wanted more testing, and I came up positive for endometriosis. I ended up with this drug that induces menopause to subside the endometriosis before our next embryo transfer.”
She added: “I got pregnant and went in for an ultrasound at 13 weeks and there was no heartbeat. I looked at my husband and said we needed to move on to surrogacy. We always dreamed of having this family of three and we didn’t feel complete. We figured it was worth exploring the option at least.”
As it turned out, the couple found “the most-perfect match” straight away. Finally, after years of pain and loss, it felt as if everything was aligning.
Unfortunately, the surrogate suffered an ectopic pregnancy and needed time to recover before doing another transfer. That was a shocking moment for Warsavsky, who came to realize that even surrogacy isn’t a sure thing.
The couple had one embryo left, and when their surrogate was ready, they gave it one final shot.
“I’m a very upbeat person and I didn’t want people feeling sorry for us. So, we decided not to talk about it,” Warsavsky said.
“There were moments when it was incredibly difficult, but I wasn’t even ready to accept it. I would ask myself at what point are we in the clear because nothing felt certain until she was in my arms.”
The couple’s third child, a healthy girl named Olive, was born on May 1.
After keeping the surrogacy a secret, Warsavsky was so excited to introduce Olive to her big sisters and her grandma, Nanci. Scarlett and Violet love their youngest sibling, but they were somewhat confused about her arrival.
As for Nanci, she could hardly believe her eyes when she saw Warsavsky cradling Olive, and the tears instantly started falling. Warsavsky shared the footage of her mom’s reaction on social media (@amandawarsavsky on TikTok and Instagram) and it has gone viral with over 2.2 million views and more than 347,000 likes at the time of writing.
“My mom and I have a really special relationship where she truly feels my pain,” Warsavsky said. “We have such a deep understanding of each other that I knew she wouldn’t be mad. Her reaction was exactly what I hoped it would be and more. I knew she felt the same relief that I felt when she saw my dreams come true.”
Documenting Her Fertility Journey
Just like Scarlett and Violet, Olive’s arrival was many years in the making. By sharing her experiences online, Warsavsky said she hopes to inspire other women not to lose hope when battling infertility.
The Cleveland Clinic suggests that 1 in 5 women between the ages of 15 and 49 struggle with primary infertility (have never been pregnant and can’t conceive), while 1 in 20 women struggle with secondary infertility (can’t get pregnant again after a successful pregnancy).
Warsavsky has documented her journey to connect with others and to try to provide a light amid the darkness.
She said: “I did my only egg retrieval at age 26, and we got 41 eggs, which turned into 13 embryos. The first transfer didn’t stick, but the second did and I was pregnant. At about 6.5 weeks, I miscarried. I’ve been through many losses since, but that was probably the hardest because it opened my eyes to the fact IVF isn’t always a silver bullet.
“A few months later, we got clearance to try again, and then I got pregnant with Scarlett. Fast forward a year later, I got pregnant again, but at 20 weeks, we discovered the baby had some abnormalities that were incompatible with life. So, we ended up losing that at 20 weeks. I knew it wasn’t a magic bullet, but I thought, by 20 weeks, I was in the clear,” Warsavsky told Newsweek.
Six months after that loss, they transferred again and miscarried at six weeks. But that didn’t stop Warsavsky, who tried again and got pregnant with her middle daughter, Violet.
Surrogacy was far from an easy decision; not only was it a big financial burden, but it also required Warsavsky to relinquish control and trust another woman. But she is so glad the couple went down that route to become a family of five.
To help her eldest daughter understand, Warsavsky said that another woman kept Olive “in her belly to keep her safe.” That was all Scarlett needed to hear, and she has embraced her youngest sister with so much love.
“It’s been a life-changing experience, both for good and bad. But it helped me learn so much about my body, being my own advocate, and how to trust people,” Warsavsky said.
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