Some men may be all in for a summer fling, however some women are swiping left on the idea of a noncommittal summer romance, according to a new survey from dating app Hily.
In Hily’s new survey, which polled 8,000 Gen Z and millennials, 75 percent of young American men said they were hoping for a summer fling while only 37 percent of women said they were looking for the same.
Why It Matters
Both men and women have increasingly expressed frustrations with dating culture and dating apps today.
Whereas men sometimes complain about low match rates, women often say they are inundated with too many options, low quality matches and disrespectful messages.
Not being able to find someone who is looking for the same thing is also a significant challenge for singles, and a mismatch between women and men’s expectations could contribute to the problem.
What To Know
The mismatch between men and women when it comes to a “summer fling” is exacerbated by the fact that for women, the number one reason to seek one was the curiosity of where things might go, indicating women were more inclined to see a summer fling as a potential pathway to a serious relationship.
“This mismatch reveals a deeper truth about how Gen Z is navigating modern dating. While men may still be operating under more traditional, casual-first mindsets, many women are approaching even short-term flings with emotional curiosity and long-term potential in mind,” Alex Elias, CEO at Qloo, a cultural artificial intelligence (AI) platform that partners with dating apps, told Newsweek. “There’s a growing desire especially among women for depth, intentionality, and shared values, even in the context of something temporary.”
This misalignment can have devastating effects for women. In Hily’s survey, 56 percent of young women said they felt heartbroken when a summer fling ended.
“Women have more to risk when dating: they are inherently more prone to violence from the opposite sex, which could also be contributing to their disinterest in casual summer flings,” MK Clarkin, a licensed clinical social worker and a therapist at LifeStance Health, told Newsweek.
The chances of a summer fling leading to a serious relationship are not super high, the survey also found, with 42 percent of young women and 48 percent of young men saying their summer dating turned into a long-term relationship.
ERIC BARADAT/AFP via Getty Images
What People Are Saying
Qloo’s CEO Alex Elias told Newsweek: ” At Qloo, we’re seeing Gen Z daters move away from surface-level bios and toward cultural compatibility: what someone’s into, how they spend their time, and what drives them. This cultural dimension is redefining attraction. Today’s daters, especially women, are less interested in performative casualness and more interested in finding real connection, even if it starts as a summer fling.”
MK Clarkin, a licensed clinical social worker and a therapist at LifeStance Health, told Newsweek: “Regardless of gender identity, many individuals feel disillusioned with dating. Lack of genuine connection, ghosting and the fatigue associated with small talk in the early stages of getting to know someone all de-incentivize folks from pursuing a romantic relationship, especially when framed in the context of a brief summer fling, which may not be ‘worth’ the bandwidth to invest in someone that won’t be around past Labor Day.”
Hallie Kritsas, a licensed mental health counselor with Thriveworks, told Newsweek: “This mismatch seems to reflect how gender norms still shape dating expectations. Most men are socialized and have societal expectations to seek fun and freedom, while women are often taught or it is the expectation for them to have an emotional connection, and they often seek it in casual flings as well. This can lead to misaligned intentions and more heartbreak for women who might enter into flings or situationships, hoping or wanting for more.”
What Happens Next?
With men and women generally not aligned on what they’re looking for on dating apps, more could end up deleting the platforms.
An AppsFlyer survey from last year found 65 percent of dating apps get deleted within just a month. And of those who uninstall the apps, 90 percent do it within a week.
“Men are unfortunately ridiculed for expressing emotions, leaving much of the emotional burden in a couple to the female role,” Clarkin said. “This trend, compounded with the other factors identified here, make dating, let alone casual brief flings, highly unappealing for women, contrasting men’s preferences for brief summer romances.”
ᐧ