From Joey and Chandler’s endless banter on Friends to Jerry and George’s neurotic loyalty on Seinfeld, popular culture’s countless versions of male friendships are as comforting as they are iconic. But how does the reality in America stack up?
A new survey by Talker Research, commissioned by Talkspace, has explored how men in the U.S. bond, confide and even “bro” their way through relationships. Talker Research surveyed 2,000 American adult men about their friendships and found that men in the U.S. have five “general” friends, three close friends and two best friends.
Men feel at ease using terms like “bro” (33 percent), “brother/brotha” (26 percent), and “homie” (21 percent) when referring to friends, yet only 6 percent would call anyone their “bestie.”
To maintain their friendships, men invest an average of four hours weekly, broken down into 52 minutes texting; 42 minutes on phone calls; 39 minutes DMing; and 94 minutes hanging out in person.
How men stay connected varies by age group, too. Gen Z (54 percent) and millennials (47 percent) frequently play video games together, while Gen X (42 percent) and baby boomers (36 percent) prefer to watch sports with their friends. The Silent Generation favors dining out (31 percent) as a way to keep in touch.
Friendships are particularly important for men; previous studies, like one by men’s health charity Movember, have found that nearly half of men feel unable to confide in friends about their problems, while a third of men report having no close friends or no friends at all. Having someone to talk to is particularly important given data that men are around four times more likely to die by suicide than women.
While it comes to what men talk about, many men discuss hobbies (37 percent), religion and spirituality (30 percent), and life plans (31 percent) with friends.
Sixty-four percent of men say they can share their deepest feelings with male friends, with Gen Z (70 percent) and millennials (73 percent) reporting the greatest ease in doing so. Surprisingly, many men in relationships admit they feel more open with friends than with partners—23 percent replied ‘often,’ and 38 percent ‘sometimes.’
The amount of friends that men have does decrease over time, though, with 39 percent of men reporting fewer friends than five years ago. However, 27 percent say the quality of those friendships has improved, even as a fifth disclose they experience loneliness daily.
Only 17 percent of men feel highly satisfied with their social lives, with millennials (22 percent) reporting the highest fulfillment and baby boomers (10 percent) the least.
Katelyn Watson, Talkspace’s chief marketing officer, said: “While it’s amazing to see that the majority of men are comfortable confiding their most intimate feelings to their friends, there’s still progress to be made in addressing loneliness across generations. Fostering real connections, especially in person, is crucial.
“Check in on your friends. Providing a space for honest conversations and vulnerability is key to better mental health,” Watson said.
Talker Research surveyed 2,000 American adult men; the survey was commissioned by Talkspace and administered and conducted online by Talker Research between October 2 and October 7, 2024.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text “988” to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org